A few thoughts

The past few weeks, during my devotions, I keep coming back to a passage in Proverbs 3:4-12. I like the way The Message puts it.

Earn a reputation for living well in God's eyes and the eyes of the people. Trust God from the bottom of your heart; don't try to figure out everything on your own. Listen for God's voice in everything you do, everywhere you go; he's the one who will keep you on track.Don't assume that you know it all. Run to God! Run from evil! Your body will glow with health, your very bones will vibrate with life! Honor God with everything you own; give him the first and the best.Your barns will burst, your wine vats will brim over. But don't,dear friend, resent God's discipline; don't sulk under his loving correction. It's the child he loves that God corrects; a father's delight is behind all this.

The part that jumped out at me the most was this. "Earn a reputation for living well in God's eyes and the eyes of the people. Trust God from the bottom of your heart; don't try to figure out everything on your own. Listen for God's voice in everything you do, everywhere you go; he's the one who will keep you on tack. Don't assume that you know it all. Run to God! Run from evil!"

How awesome!!! My biggest problem has always been that I try to figure out everything on my own. I want to know the who, what, when, where and how of everything! And while I'm trying to figure all of this out and solve my own problems, I forget to listen for God's direction. But God's voice is in everything I do and everywhere I go. How amazing is that!!! He is the only one who can keep me going in the right direction. If I try to do it on my own, I end up in a mess.

Don't assume that you know it all. I have an awful time with that. I'm 20 years old, that's twenty years of learning things, but I still don't know it all. I will never know all that there is to know! For now I know just what God thinks I need to know, and that's good enough.

Run to God! Run from evil! I love how it first says to run to God and then it makes it clear that running to God and running from evil is one and the same. It's not running in two different directions, it's running in one direction with two purposes; getting closer to God and farther from evil.

These verses have encouraged me in the past few weeks. Now the fact that I have know idea what I'm going to do tomorrow let alone in the next year or two doesn't seem to bother me as much as it used to. Instead, it's almost a relief. I was always one to plan out my whole entire life. I had something that I was going to have accomplished by each year. 19 years old; graduate from GBS; 23 years old; graduate from Hillsdale College, 24 years old; get married, 25 years old; start a family, etc. But my ways are not God's ways. I can't plan out my entire life! I don't have any control over any of that! I don't know it all!!! That used to bother me. I wanted control, I really did. But these verses just seemed to remind me that God is in control and the only thing that I need to worry about is weather my life is pleasing to God. As long as I live my life to please Him, then I don't have to worry. I'll let Him be the one to direct my ways, He's the One who will keep on track.

Trust

It's been awhile since I last posted! Too long, in fact. I'll try to make it up! A lot has happened in the past few months. I miss blogging!! It was always my way of jotting down my thoughts, an outlet of sorts.

The last month has been hard. I've had a lot of disappoints. Things that I don't understand why they happen, but they do. Lately a song has been going through my mind, Let the Waters Rise by Mikeschair. The first verse says: "Don't know where to begin It's like my world's caving in and I tried but I can't control my fear. Where do I go from here? Sometimes it's so hard to pray, you feel so far away. I am willing to go where you want me to. God I trust you." That last phrase has been so hard for me to say. God I trust you. Trust. Such a small word but so hard to do. People will let you down. Friends will disappoint you. Family will disappoint. People you trust will betray you, they will turn their back on you and walk away at the times where you need them the most. But God...He won't. But our human minds don't seem to be able to grasp that. We have a hard time understanding that God is not human, therefore He does not have humans attributes. He has godly attributes. He can be totally and completely trusted. Even when you things happen that make you think, "God, what are doing? This isn't supposed to happen!!!" Trust Him! I'm preaching to the choir here! This is a big issue for me! I've had so many disappoints that its become hard for me to trust anyone, even God.

The chorus of the song says, "There's a raging sea right in front of me. Want to pull me in Bring me to my knees. So let the waters rise if you want them to, I will follow you..." Then it goes on to say, "I will swim in the deep cuz your next to me. You're the eye of the storm and the calm of the sea. You're never out of reach. God you know where I've been You were there with me then You were faithful before, You'll be faithful again. I'm holding Your hand...God Your love is enough! You will pull me through. I'm holding on to You. God your love is enough! I will follow You!"

In the past few months I have felt like I'm in that raging sea; a sea of disappoints, sorrows, forgotten dreams, unattained goals, lost ambitions, unwise decisions. And it feels like all of those things are swelling up doing their best to pull me under. But to be able to stand there and say, "Let the waters rise if you want them to, I will follow you." That takes faith, trust. I want to be able to stand and say, "God whatever comes my way, even if it doesn't make sense, even if I don't understand why You want the sea to rise, I will still follow you. I will trust You! You were faithful before, You'll be faithful again." It doesn't matter how deep my sea may seem, it doesn't even matter how long I have to swim in it. As long as God is next to me! He is the eye of the storm and the calm of sea! I will trust in Him!!!